by It is normal to feel anger and hostility towards a child immediately after his or her birth.
What is postpartum depression
This is the name given to a mood disorder that usually occurs in women in the first year after the birth of a child. According to the World Health Organization, 13 to 19% of young mothers experience it. In Russia, official statistics on the disorder are not kept. Therefore, it is not known for certain how many women have been diagnosed with the condition.
Depending on the severity of the manifestation, the disorder is divided into several categories:
- Baby blues is the mildest form of postpartum depression. It manifests itself as depression, mood swings, and anxiety. The feelings usually arise four to five days after the birth of the child and pass without treatment within a few weeks.
- Postpartum depression is a condition that can occur days or months after the birth of a baby. It can be characterized by a loss of interest in things that were previously enjoyable and a lack of interest in the baby.
- Postpartum psychosis is considered the rarest and most severe form. It manifests itself in suicidal thoughts, hallucinations, delusions, thoughts of harming the child. This condition is dangerous and requires immediate treatment.
Despite the name, postpartum depression can also affect men. Almost 10% of young fathers experience symptoms of the disorder after the birth of a child.
Why does postpartum depression occur in men?
The birth of a child changes the father’s usual way of life. A man may worry for several reasons:
- less attention from women;
- not such a strong attachment to the child;
- responsibility for providing for the family;
- there is no euphoria from the appearance of a child in the house;
- intermittent sleep;
- irregular sex .
Depression can occur when changes are accompanied by other difficulties:
- unemployment;
- lack of support from loved ones;
- stress;
- financial difficulties;
- negative events in life;
- history of depressive episodes or other mental disorders;
- dissatisfaction with family life;
- postpartum depression in wife.
How does postpartum depression manifest itself in men?
Postpartum depression in men can manifest itself in different ways and with different intensity. Here are some signs:
- anger, irritability or aggression ;
- loss of interest in work or favorite activities;
- immersion in work without days off;
- alienation or detachment from family and friends;
- a feeling of disappointment, despondency;
- a feeling of sadness, hopelessness, or depression;
- suicidal thoughts;
- thoughts of harming yourself or the child.
Postpartum depression in men is slightly different from that in women . Young mothers are more prone to tearfulness and depressed mood. And fathers are more prone to anger, aggression and risky behavior.
When to see a doctor
Men are less likely to be diagnosed with postpartum depression. This is because they are more likely to suppress or downplay symptoms. But any parent can experience this disorder, regardless of gender.
Depression is a dangerous disease, so you can’t ignore its symptoms. Without treatment, it does not go away, and the condition worsens. You need to see a doctor if tasks seem overwhelming for two weeks, and thoughts of harming yourself or your child do not go away or even worsen.
The doctor will assess the severity of the symptoms and suggest treatment. This may include psychotherapy and taking antidepressants or other medications.
What Happens If Postpartum Depression in Men Is Not Treated
Paternal depression can affect a child’s development. Children may have behavioral problems and even mental disorders.
A review of studies of postnatal depression in men found that in infants and preschoolers, problems ranged from excessive crying to hyperactivity. Schoolchildren whose fathers suffered from the disorder had double the risk of developing mental disorders .
How a man can help himself with postpartum depression
First, as we have already said, see a doctor. Second, it is worth understanding that although a man does not need physical recovery after childbirth, the birth of a child changes his life as drastically as a woman’s life. It is impossible to be completely prepared for change, so it is normal to experience negative emotions: irritation, anger, rage . The father also needs time to get used to a new way of life.
Here’s what will help ease the condition:
- rest when possible;
- accept help from other people;
- communicate with other young parents;
- talk openly about your feelings;
- stop drinking alcohol, as it is considered a depressant.
How to Avoid Developing Postpartum Depression in Men
There are many different factors that influence the development of depression, and it is impossible to predict whether one of the parents will have it.
Here are some tips to help reduce the risk of developing postpartum depression in men.
Set realistic expectations
Before the birth of your first child, it is worth carefully studying the information: how much children sleep and at what time, how to feed and wash them. Discuss with your spouse how difficulties will be overcome. This will help get rid of the image in your head of a newborn sleeping soundly in his crib while mom and dad are drinking tea in the kitchen. On the contrary, a picture close to reality will form.
If you have friends who have already become parents, you can ask them about how they coped with difficulties and what helped them maintain strong relationships.
Get involved in the care process
A young father may feel like he is the odd one out in the mother-child tandem, and this causes negative emotions. You can take on some responsibilities: change a diaper, rock in your arms, change clothes. And washing the child before bed and singing a lullaby can become a good tradition. These things will make all three happier.
Contact a psychologist
A specialist will help you prepare in advance and distribute roles in the family. With a psychologist, you can discuss concerns and ideas about life with a child, put your thoughts in order and understand your attitudes.
Accept help
The first few months after the birth of a child are the hardest. At this point, any help can make life easier: grandparents can participate in caring for the child, and if they are not nearby, you can sometimes invite a nanny to sit with the baby or help around the house.
